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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25932322">Conduit</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatbigsinner/pseuds/thatbigsinner'>thatbigsinner</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Hate Sex, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Past Sephiroth/Genesis Rhapsodos, Possession</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:13:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,412</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25932322</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatbigsinner/pseuds/thatbigsinner</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>At the end of the final fight in the Crater, Sephiroth fused himself into Cloud’s body. He lives in his head, generally causing problems for no one but Cloud, but occasionally rises to the surface. This wouldn’t be as big a problem if Cloud’s new partner, Genesis Rhapsodos, didn’t move in with him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Genesis Rhapsodos/Cloud Strife</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Conduit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>prompt by the amazing @gaymenace69!!! thank you for letting me take this and run with it!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Genesis would never admit it, but he didn’t believe Cloud at first. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud was, by nature, an anxious person. He made mountains out of molehills, and simple problems daunted him to ridiculous proportions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He believed him when he talked about Meteorfall; it  was hard not to. There was abundant evidence, to start with, but for the events to leave such obvious trauma—it was clearly real. Besides, Tifa corroborated his story. Sephiroth has been the piper, and Cloud the helpless, hapless child swept up in his tune. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Tifa didn’t know anything about what Cloud was claiming. Cloud had specifically asked him not to bring it up with anyone. It was to be their secret. Cloud had made it clear, with his reluctance if not his words, that he was only admitting this truth because he was afraid it would come out on accident, with how Genesis was moving in with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis had been ever-so careful not to push Cloud. The blond was forever ducking out from under his touch, and only recently began allowing small, simple touches. Just a hand on the elbow, the bicep. A guiding hand between the shoulder blades. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis wasn’t sure what had happened there, and Tifa, his friend and usual source of information Cloud was reluctant to share but was important for Genesis to know, didn’t seem to know either. Over the course of Meteorfall, he’d just slowly stopped tolerating touch. They had all decided to give him his space, and he seemed happier for it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t push Cloud, but he was a tactile person by nature, and small gestures slipped. The grander gestures, the ones he ached for, were never something he slipped with. They meant too much to happen on accident. But if Cloud could never tolerate even chaste hugs and kisses, that was fine. Cloud mattered more to him than physical affection. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The problem was, that Cloud was not a particularly verbal man. He spoke and he listened, but words seemed cheap and paltry to him. Genesis could be as eloquent as any poet when he wanted, but he knew it wouldn’t have the effect intended on Cloud. He wanted to use his touch to say everything his words couldn’t. He was sure that, if Cloud could just tolerate the touch, Genesis could get across how much he cared in a way that would actually reach him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it was out of bounds. So Genesis relied on other tools, or tried to, at least. Gifts—but Cloud accepted these poorly, always insisting the money could be put to better use. Acts of service—but Cloud refused to allow anyone to take care of him, insisting that he didn’t need to be coddled. Quality time—but if Cloud didn’t have breathing room, time to himself, he panicked, felt claustrophobic, and found an “emergency delivery” that took him out of town for a week. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis was stumped. He didn’t know how to show Cloud he loved him, when the simple words always seemed to be doubted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Cloud seemed to understand the dilemma, though Genesis never voiced it. As they grew more serious, he tried initiating the touches. The same simple ones Genesis could never quite manage to stop. Then chaste kisses. Hand holding. One rare instance where he ducked under Genesis’s arm and let him hold him as they watched Loveless. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With the implicit permission, Genesis returned the touches, always trying his best to move slowly and give Cloud a chance to tell him no, verbally or otherwise . It took some getting used to, as Cloud slowly fought to build a tolerance, but the touch </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> getting through to him. Genesis could still remember Cloud’s awed look after one particularly tender kiss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thought that was what made him bring it up, as much as moving in together. Because, the two progressions met at one logical conclusion, that one day they would do more in bed than sleep next to each other with several handwidths between them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, one day, as they lie next to each other with that respectful distance between them, Cloud fessed up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t his fault it was hard to believe, but it certainly was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you are a… conduit?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud shrugged absently, looking up at the ceiling as he lay on his back. Genesis lie on his side, watching Cloud’s every breath and blink. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess? If you want to call it that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To be sure I understand: you and Sephiroth… melded, in the crater. “</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What, exactly, does that entail?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“His body is dead—I killed it in the crater the last time. But I’ve got so much of the Lifestream in me, and so much of </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> in me; he just latched on, on the way out of his body.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So his soul is inside you now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At least part of it. I don’t really understand, and if he does, he won’t explain. Aerith said there’s no precedent for what happened. She thinks that he had so much Jenova in him, by the end, that the Lifestream rejected him just enough to give him time. That in the split second before he joined the Lifestream, he climbed into me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But it’s… I don’t think it’s all of him. He’s not as strong as he was before. He can’t move my body very long anymore, he’s more just a passenger. If it was all of him, I’d just be another Kadaj, and you’d be talking to him, not me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis paused to try and wrap his head around this. This was more than Cloud usually spoke at one time, which meant that it was important to him that Genesis understood. Even if he was acting nonchalant. Especially because he was acting nonchalant. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, he’s in your head. With you, all the time? You’re never alone?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud shook his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I’m used to it, by now. He just watches and makes comments most of the time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is he saying anything now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud’s lips pursed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That this is a bad idea. That you aren’t going to believe me, or that you will, and you’ll leave. No one wants a… voyeur, with them all the time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Privately, Genesis thought that it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> hard to believe. But enough strange things happened in Cloud’s life that he was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to leave you, Cloud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you don’t believe me, do you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… am having a hard time wrapping my head around the concept. But, just because I don’t understand it, doesn’t mean I don’t believe it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He believed that Cloud believed it. But he also believed that Cloud was severely traumatized, and that Sephiroth had made his hold on reality tenuous at best. In the end, it didn’t matter if it was “real.” It was real to Cloud, so Genesis would respect it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Cloud heard what he wasn’t saying between the words, he let it go. He only answered with a hum. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, what do we do about it?” Genesis asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing </span>
  <em>
    <span>to</span>
  </em>
  <span> do about it. I can’t get rid of him—I tried. I thought Aerith’s water might help, but he—he’s gotten a really good grip, with the amount of time he’s had. I think I’m stuck with him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see. Well, thank you for telling me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t tell you for no reason. He… gets closer to the surface, sometimes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis paused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If anything reminds me too much of him, or mimics anything he’s done, it’s like a foot in the door for him. And he’ll yank the door open any chance he can get.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What does that </span>
  <em>
    <span>mean?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing dangerous, or there’d be another meteor in the sky by now. Sometimes I catch my eyes looking like his when I look in the mirror. Sometimes he’ll talk. He might take over, but it’s five minutes at worst before I can get him under control. He’s figured out that if he just takes control of my hands, he can focus more of his will on it, and keep control over those for a longer time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He… usually only tries when I’m alone, and I get too deep in memories. I don’t know what will happen, with you here all the time. Especially since you two used to know each other. With you here, I might not get deep enough in remembering for him to manage. But he might manage in a different way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What way is that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud cleared his throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Touch reminds me of him. It’s why I usually avoid it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis’s brow furrowed. He went still. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why does it remind you of him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud snorted, and in his most flippant tone, said, “Because he was a handsy bastard.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis’s stomach dropped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud, please don’t make a joke out of this. What happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud glanced at him sidelong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need me to spell it out for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No, no he didn’t. He could very easily imagine Cloud, controlled and helpless, under Sephiroth’s hands. Under his body. Genesis grit his teeth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s lucky he’s dead. If I killed him, it would not have been swift.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... He’d like to remind you that you couldn’t win a spar against him, and wouldn’t be able to actually kill him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis looked like he’d been struck. Because he never told Cloud that. He shouldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> that, and he didn’t want to face the idea that maybe Sephiroth </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> there. He wrote it off, telling himself that Zack must have mentioned it at some point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have grown in the years since.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So has he.” Then Cloud pinched the bridge of his nose, saying, “Fuck. I’m sorry, I—I didn’t meant to—let’s not have me play messenger boy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Genesis could answer, Cloud had thrown the blanket back and climbed out of bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud!” Genesis hurried to follow. “It’s fine, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> sorry, just—“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think I need a minute. You can stay here, if you want. I’ll be back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then he was out the door. Genesis sank back to the bed and ran a hand through his hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he heard Cloud’s bike roar to life, he realized that Cloud didn’t say </span>
  <em>
    <span>when</span>
  </em>
  <span> he would be back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it was a while, before he turned up again. Genesis carefully didn’t bring up the topic of Sephiroth, and neither did Cloud. He convinced himself that, maybe he wouldn’t really have to deal with it, unless Cloud brought it up again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t. Months went by without a word about it. Genesis moved in with Cloud, and there was no hint of Sephiroth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Until there was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis heard a resounding </span>
  <em>
    <span>smack!</span>
  </em>
  <span> from the other room, and rushed over to see if Cloud had somehow fallen, despite his perfect balance and inherent grace. If he fell, something was deeply wrong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Cloud had not smacked into the tile. His cheek was already turning red. He shook his hand out to relieve the sting. He wouldn’t look Genesis in the eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you… slap yourself?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kinda,” Cloud said with a wry twist of the lips. He turned around and went about getting a glass from the cabinet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Why</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because he got tired of me not minding my manners. I should have known better. Don’t worry about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a long pause, as Genesis struggled to make sense of it, and then sucked in a sharp breath as it clicked home. Cloud ignored the sound, going about getting a glass of water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He punishes you for, what, not respecting him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When he can manage it. Most of the time he’s too weak, so I can do what I want. Problem is, he doesn’t forget. He always gets me back. It’s fine. Just a slap.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You make him sound like an abusive boyfriend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud laughed, but it was humorless. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He kinda is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud turned around with his water, and his cheek had already healed up fine. He was so casual about it, arching a brow that dared Genesis to push it, as he took a sip of water. It seemed to be no big deal to him, and Genesis had no idea what to do about it, so he let it go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Until he woke up in the middle of the night, feeling watched. He opened his eyes to see Cloud watching him, but his eyes were mako-green and cat-slit. A smirk that looked nothing at all like one of Cloud’s expressions curled on his lips. He raised a single finger and pressed it to his lips. Then the hand fell limp and Cloud’s eyes closed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis, unlocked from his frozen state now that the moment had passed, shook Cloud awake, panicked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud rolled out of bed and into a fighting stance in half a second flat. His bleary eyes slowly focused, and he slid out of the stance that had come instinctually, after years of sleeping light around danger. He rubbed his eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His blue eye, with a round pupil. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gen? What the hell? Where’s the fire?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis, still breathing hard, ran a hand over his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing. Must have been a nightmare. Come back to bed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then there was nothing, for weeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Until Cloud cut his hand while chopping vegetables. The cut was deep, and unexpected—Cloud was too deft with a blade for this kind of accident, unless something was wrong. Genesis put down his own knife, that he was mincing herbs with, and opened his mouth to speak, still looking at Cloud’s hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except Cloud spoke before him, saying, “Doesn’t he bleed so beautifully?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis’s eyes shot up to Cloud’s face to see his eyes a green that they shouldn’t be. But before he could do anything about it, Cloud blinked, and his eyes were blue again. He quickly moved his hand over the sink, applying pressure to encourage healing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dammit, were you just going to let me bleed all over dinner?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... Are you going to pretend this is normal?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud shot him a glance, then averted his eyes, his lips pressed thin. He shook his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> normal. I told you this happens.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t say that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurts</span>
  </em>
  <span> you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t think I had to. Does he ever do anything else?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no argument for that. Genesis let it go again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure how long he was going to continue letting it go. But eventually, it grew too hard to ignore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud was many things, but two important ones were determined and stubborn. He was not going to let Sephiroth ruin his relationship. Genesis deserved better. He had already been patient enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had started simple. A chaste kiss goodnight after they had climbed into bed. But then Cloud was grabbing his face and pulling him back, and the next kiss was less chaste. And this was something that they did on very rare occasions. But Cloud had certainly never climbed in his lap, never straddled him and held his face between his palms to prevent him from stopping this to ask questions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kiss went on and on, going deeper and deeper. Genesis couldn’t help the way he hardened in the simple boxers he slept in. He wasn’t sure what to do about it, but he wasn’t sure he had to find an answer, because he could feel Cloud, just as hard, against his own hip. Then Cloud was grinding them together and any chance Genesis had of figuring out how to be responsible about this went out the window. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moaned into Cloud’s mouth, hands finding their way onto slim hips, encouraging the way he moved like the tide. It had been so long since he had an option other than his own hand—and he would have continued as things were. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be respectful of Cloud’s boundaries. But if Cloud wanted to push them himself, he was certainly not going to refuse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Especially not when Cloud pulled away to grab a bottle of lube he didn’t even know they had from the nightstand drawer and pressed it into his hand, saying, “I want you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis paused. Took a moment to look deep into Cloud’s eyes and inspect every millimeter. But his eyes were ocean-blue and his pupils as wide and round as the moon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud blinked slowly at him, letting him check, understanding the necessity. Genesis didn’t know the way Sephiroth had fallen ominously silent in the back of his head. He didn’t know that the absence of his endless commentary and biting wit was a bad sign. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud did. He knew damn well. But he knew that it wasn’t going to be any better, if he stopped and tried again later. All he could do was push through, and hope for the best. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could see the moment Genesis made his decision, the silence before the storm, where everything was still and Cloud could see longing and love and hope in his slowly dilating pupils. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But that was what made it okay when Genesis slid his hands up under Cloud’s shirt to peel it off. That was what made it okay to undress Genesis himself. The longing and love and hope was exactly what Cloud wanted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew how much Genesis wanted to touch him with meaning; he’d seen it in every glancing gesture since he came to understand how little words meant to Cloud. The clearer that became, the more meaning Genesis tried to fit into the few touches Cloud allowed. He knew exactly what Genesis kept trying to tell him, in every way he could attempt to get the message across, but he couldn’t believe it. He thought he might, if tonight went how he hoped. He thought that, whatever happened, it might be worth it, if Genesis could get that point across. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew what Genesis wanted to say, and Cloud ached to believe it, and the hope swelling in his chest was not something Sephiroth would usually remain quiet about. He expected mocking, the knife-edged promises that Genesis couldn’t possibly care about Cloud the way he cared for him. He expected painful reminders of the fact that Genesis used to love </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sephiroth</span>
  </em>
  <span>, that before Genesis and Cloud had ever met, Sephiroth had had them both. That just because Genesis had never admitted to that truth did not make it any less real. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The silence rang in his head, loud as a church bell, tolling in the emptiness so intensely that he thought he felt the vibration of it buzzing in his teeth. Because there was intent, in that silence. It was a carefully crafted choice, as much as any of Sephiroth’s words ever were. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Cloud summarily ignored it, the way he would have Sephiroth’s words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shifted, grabbing Genesis by a handful of long hair and dragging him with him. He settled on his hands and knees, because it was the most familiar position to him, and he didn’t think to do anything else. The silence turned smug, and Cloud could almost hear Sephiroth’s missing commentary about how well-trained he was—but only almost. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis didn’t question him. This was going to be on Cloud’s terms. Genesis was too concerned with his trauma to do anything but follow his lead. He allowed Cloud to drag him by the hair to drape over him, one hand holding him up on the mattress next to Cloud’s. If his hair fell around Cloud like a curtain, in a way that was painfully familiar despite how they’d never done this—Cloud would just keep that to himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis went about preparing Cloud slowly. It had been a long time since Cloud had done this, and Genesis didn’t want to hurt him. Cloud slowly sank lower and lower, until his forehead was resting on the bedspread, his weight on his elbows as his hands clutched the sheets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud babbled as Genesis worked, telling him to hurry up, that he didn’t need this much preparation, that he knew it didn’t have to take this long. That Genesis should hurry up and fuck him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>, just get on with it already. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis ignored him. He kissed his neck carefully and tenderly, trying to press meaning into the skin there, and Cloud shivered every time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But eventually, Genesis had to admit he was stalling out of nerves. And he had never been one to allow nervousness to limit him, so he slicked himself and pressed his tip to Cloud’s entrance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you ready?” Genesis asked in a whisper, his breath ghosting over Cloud’s ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sweet Shiva, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I’ve been telling you that!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Genesis laughed his relief, because that was Cloud, all Cloud. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pressed his way slowly inside, Cloud moaning for every inch, until he bottomed out. He held still to give Cloud a chance to adjust. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, as Cloud panted into the sheets, he reached up to grab a handful of Genesis’s hair and </span>
  <em>
    <span>yanked</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis laughed and began to move, his hips a slow undulation. He was finally getting a chance to show Cloud how much he cared in a way he understood, and he was not going to waste it. His hands swept across Cloud’s skin in tender caresses. His mouth pressed careful kisses to his throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wished Cloud was on his back so he could see him. He was so overwhelmed that his face was still in the sheets, and Genesis wished he would look up. But he understood how finally feeling loved could be overpowering—it was how he had felt when Cloud first said he loved him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But then Cloud was shaking, and Genesis’s stomach washed cold. He couldn’t be sobbing, could he?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud?” he asked, going still immediately. “Cloud, are you alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud’s face turned to the side so he could look up at Genesis, and apparently it wasn’t a sob—it was a laugh. And, while it would have been confusing, Genesis could have worked with that, if the eye that looked up at him wasn’t green. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis leaned back as a razor-sharp smile formed on Cloud’s face, very much not an expression he’d seen from Cloud before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I remember the first time you fucked me this tenderly,” Cloud said, a laugh in his words. “It was when you realized I thought you didn’t care. We’d been fucking for years, but never like this. You said you’d convince me with your touch—and you did. I should have known you’d try the same with Cloud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis felt goosebumps rise as his whole body went cold. Because that wasn’t something anyone else knew. Zack couldn’t have told Cloud, because Zack didn’t know. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Angeal</span>
  </em>
  <span> hadn’t known. It was private, between him and Sephiroth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This really was Sephiroth, wearing Cloud’s skin and looking out from Cloud’s eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was an appropriate way to respond to this. It was to pull out and put a stop to this immediately. To give Cloud some space, and let him come back to himself, so they could talk this through. Figure things out, and not try again until they had a better idea of what they were doing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That wasn’t what Genesis did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because the cold that had washed through him warmed quickly to boiling. The rage grew so hot it was blinding, it was scalding to be in his own skin, and everything seemed a very familiar shade of red. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was Sephiroth. His lover, one of the few people Genesis had ever truly cherished. The man who tried to end the world. The specter that haunted Cloud, literally and figuratively, who was responsible for quite a bit of his nightmares and trauma. Who apparently continued living inside his skin, making every day a living hell Cloud couldn’t escape, though he soldiered on bravely and without complaint. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Betrayal tasted sour on his tongue. The rage tasted sweeter, tasted hotter, burned like fire in his gullet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis grabbed Cloud by the hair and shoved the face Sephiroth was looking out of into the mattress. He snapped his hips forward, the pace brutal, no longer caring if it hurt—</span>
  <em>
    <span>hoping</span>
  </em>
  <span> that it would hurt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sephiroth laughed into the sheets, and the sound was achingly familiar. Genesis knew it would haunt him for ages. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You ruined </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Genesis hissed. “Damn what you did to the world—you tore him to </span>
  <em>
    <span>shreds</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You broke him into so many pieces that I don’t know if I’d ever be able to help him put himself back together. But here you are, hoarding the shards, stopping him from moving forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you left, he’d be </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he’d be happy and healthy and whole, and he would move </span>
  <em>
    <span>on</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He’s made such progress but you hold him </span>
  <em>
    <span>back</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and I don’t know how he tolerates your presence, your poison forever in his ear.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis leaned forward, pressing as much weight to the back of Cloud’s skull as he could, certain that if he was unenhanced his neck would have snapped or his skull would have crumbled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He bared his teeth in rage and hissed into his ear, “If I could carve you from him, I would. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Damn</span>
  </em>
  <span> our past, damn what we share—I would siphon you from him and discard you. I’d pray that the Lifestream itself would reject you. You deserve nothing but aching loneliness for the rest of time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Somehow, in a show of Cloud’s superior enhancements, Sephiroth managed to turn his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gave Genesis a sweet, sweet, belladonna smile, and said, “I love you too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis couldn’t describe the sound he made, he only knew it was animalistic. A growl, a snarl, a howl—he didn’t know, and he didn’t care. There was time to pick apart his behavior later, to be ashamed </span>
  <em>
    <span>later</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Now, all he had was the aching need to make Sephiroth hurt, to make him </span>
  <em>
    <span>bleed</span>
  </em>
  <span>, to carve some ounce of misery from his flesh, to force him to atone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But those four saccharine words made it clear that he would never be able to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thrust forward as hard as he could, blindly, over and over until he came—and it was greeted only with smug laughter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He feels so good, doesn’t he?” Sephiroth whispered. “He felt better the first time—and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> his first. He’ll never forget it, how I took him as his hometown burned around us, the body of his mother who had begged for his life smoldering before us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis grabbed him by the shoulder and flipped him onto his back. He didn’t know why he thought this would finish when he did; it was foolish. But he needed this over, and needed it over </span>
  <em>
    <span>now.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis clapped his hand over Sephiroth’s mouth and took him in hand. He began stroking him, too fast and too rough, trying to force him to the edge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Finish</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Genesis hissed, his bared teeth an inch from Sephiroth’s face. “Finish, and give him back to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could hear Sephiroth’s mocking coo muffled beneath his hand, and how it slowly turned to deep, sonorous laughter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It tapered off into panting as Genesis used every trick he had learned in his years in bed with Sephiroth. He hadn’t been sure if those tricks would work, as it was still technically Cloud’s body, but they seemed to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis didn’t say another word. Sephiroth wouldn't listen. It would be a waste of breath. The man he loved was long gone, and the man he hated was unbothered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually, he wrung the orgasm from Cloud’s body. He tensed in a familiar way Genesis had seen an infinite amount of times on Sephiroth‘s frame. His eyes rolled back and shut tight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And when he relaxed, boneless against the mattress and opened his eyes, they were blue again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were blue again, and Cloud was looking back at him, and what he had done crashed over him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The breath left him in a rush, as surely as if he’d been punched in the gut. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud, I—I’m sorry, I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>sorry</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I didn’t mean—“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But then Cloud was laughing, and it was nothing like when Sephiroth had laughed through him. It was warm and bright and just a little bit tired. He looked up at him, soft and fond, and touched his cheek. It was as tender as Genesis had ever touched or been touched. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis blinked in shock. His brow furrowed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For what—brutalizing you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For what you said to him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis scoffed, saying, “He earned it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But not everyone would say it. Not everyone could, to an old lover.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis fell silent. He didn’t know what to say. Cloud ran his fingers up and into Genesis’s hair, scritching at the scalp. He leaned up to kiss him softly, before laying back against the pillows and patting the space next to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cut the guilt and lay with me. I wanna enjoy the afterglow; I’ve never had the chance before.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis curled up next to him, and when Cloud scooted closer and snuggled into his chest, he held him close. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure how much afterglow there will be, with how I—“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did I just say? I’m used to rough, Genesis—I like it. I feel amazing and all tired and achy in the best way. Lemme enjoy it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud’s eyes had shut again. He was slurring just a little bit—he really was feeling as good as he said. It went a long way in assuaging Genesis’s guilt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They lay there in silence, Genesis running his hand up and down Cloud’s arm as he occasionally hummed in satisfaction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Until he tensed—not enough to be concerning, but enough to be noticeable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Genesis said, glad to be pulled from his own circular thoughts about whether or not what had just happened was okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He… he’s quiet. I think he’s… asleep?” Cloud laughed, the sound quiet and disbelieving. “I’ve been trying to shut him up for years! I can’t believe you—you fucked him into a nap.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis blinked down at him. He looked as disbelieving as Cloud sounded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that a good thing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud looked up at him, beaming and strangely hopeful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My head is quiet for the first time in </span>
  <em>
    <span>years</span>
  </em>
  <span>. No commentary, no mockery—just… quiet.” Cloud kissed him, and then laughed against his mouth, saying, “Please say you’ll keep fucking me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis pulled away to look at him incredulously. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“After </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>, are you sure that’s what you want?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Gods</span>
  </em>
  <span> yes. This blissed-out feeling, and a quiet head? Proof that you love me, and sex with the man I love? Absolutely. If I have to be his conduit the rest of the time, he can be mine for this. Or he can mind his own business and fuck off—I win either way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis blinked. He stared. Then he laughed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you say Zack’s optimism didn’t rub off on you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It didn’t. I’m just right about this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course you are, love.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does that mean you’ll put up with this? Even if you have to deal with him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis smiled ruefully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Clearly, I found pleasure in what just happened. When I’m not taken by surprise, I might be calmer, and more tender. But if you truly don’t mind rough—“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“—then, no, the idea of hate-fucking Sephiroth is not a problem.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you… oh my gods, are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>blushing</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, of course not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are! Aw, Genesis, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am well aware.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’ll look like me, and you get a chance to shut his smart mouth up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to sell me on this, Cloud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be on the other end, even if I’m not the one talking—I’ll feel everything, and it will feel amazing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis put his hand over Cloud’s mouth for the second time tonight, though this time, it was much gentler.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, Cloud. I’m with you. My only disappointment is that we have to go through this… proxy situation.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only when Cloud nodded did Genesis release him. When he did, Cloud caught his hand and kissed his palm, taking full use of the fact that Sephiroth was asleep and couldn’t use the touch to slide closer to the surface. Genesis’s expression softened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you. I’m sorry that things are this way, but—my life’s always been weird. I’ve learned to live with it. I’m just glad it doesn’t put you off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Genesis kissed Cloud’s forehead and said, “Nothing could put me off you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And strangely enough, in that moment, Cloud believed him. </span>
</p>
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